MIRACLES

Miracles
July 2, 2009

Any parent of a child with a disability has struggled with the concept of miracles. Often we are told to have faith, to pray and some are even so bold to suggest that if we do these things then God will “heal” our special needs child. These comments, I believe usually, are given from a place of trying to help but instead demonstrate a true ignorance of the person making the comment. Usually such narrow-minded views left me to feel “less than”, and inadequate in my ability and lacking in faith. I, like the well intentioned, succumbed to the well felt fear of the future and the outcome.


No one can understand another’s struggles or even if someone is struggling. Comments are given from our own place of not knowing what is needed by another person, our own interpretation of the situation. From another’s perspective I can see how my situation with Brendon seems unimaginable. I have gone through bouts of uncertainty and doubt through my own ignorance of the experience, the outcome and my own ability to do what would be needed. Having a child with a disability is not something I would have chosen for my life. (I have come to greatly admire those that I have met that choose through adoption or foster care to welcome those with disabilities into their homes and lives.) I now know that this attitude comes from my own fear of the unknown and I believe others have the same fear. How can you trust something that seems so difficult, that presents so many challenges and that is not the norm, something that presents so many unknowns.

Today I was reading in my daily meditation about Jesus’ miracles. In the new testament there are some three dozen recorded miracles performed by Jesus. Miracles of healing (the healing of the paralyzed hand ~ Mark 3: 1- 6) , of meeting a need (changing water into wine at the wedding) or coming to someone’s rescue (walking across the lake during a storm to comfort the frightened disciples). Each time he is responding with compassion to the fears and suffering of others. But what if someone is not suffering?

There was a point in Brendon’s life when I experienced great suffering, going through the process of grief and loss was difficult and painful. But during this time Brendon did not appear to be experiencing any pain, loss, or suffering. He was happy, content, and loved. God didn’t need to “heal” Brendon because he was already healed. Eventually through a great deal of prayer and meditation, through talking with others, and through willingness to trust the process I was able to be “healed” of my fear. I learned to appreciate the great gift Brendon was in not only my life but the lives of many others. God spoke to me through Brendon when I began to look through my tears and pay attention to his happiness. God used Brendon as a vehicle for my own healing.

If I were to ask Jesus for one miracle today, what would that be? I am not sure how to answer this question. If “healing” in the common form of the word (Brendon getting up from his wheelchair and walking across the room for example) would change Brendon, make him someone else, change his humble and patient personality, I am not sure I would ask Jesus to allow Brendon to “walk”. I think, when I honestly reflect on this question, I would ask Jesus to heal me and Brendon from our fear and to touch the lives of others so that they too could appreciate Brendon for the true miracle he is.