October 23, 2009
“God, who creates and preserves all things, should make Jesus perfect through suffering.” ~Hebrews 2:10
In this verse the author of Hebrews tells us the natural order of suffering. Not even Jesus, God’s own son, was immune from it’s grips. In matters of the human experience we are all bound to experience levels of suffering.
Depression, mental illness, are labels inflicted on may to describe a human level of suffering and the darkness of the depths of depression. Hopelessness and unrest exemplify the human experience and embody the meaning of the word suffering. The only difference in diagnosis and the human experience it represents is the name humans, medical professionals, put on it.
To be so uncomfortable is a feeling human nature rails against. Of late, with my own mental illness, I have tried to embrace such darkness. I am learning, though often with barred knuckles, the humility and acceptance that is a part of who I have been created to be in order to be one with Jesus. I don’t like suffering and resist it’s grip. I don’t volunteer for the experience no matter how close it brings me to my creator. But I do know that in my own darkness Jesus allows me to be one with him. As a creation, perfect in it’s human flaws and the experience of darkness, Jesus comforts me.
When reading further in Hebrews the author speaks these words,
“And now He [Jesus] can help those who are tempted, because he himself was tempted and suffered.” ~ Hebrews 2:18
The temptation is to run away, but we can learn lessons from Jesus’ own experience. We may have been made to experience the darkness of suffering nestled deep within the human soul, but we are not made to do it alone.
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2 comments:
I understand you more than ever Michele, because in what you have said about depression. I see myself in your words. I am in the grips of suffering and wish I could resist the temptation to run away. But that is where I'm at; I've just run away. Only my fear of eternal separation from God is keeping me alive. I feel that there is an element of mercy, however, that God may have for those with mental illness. As a valid illness, can you discredit mental illness versus any other illness from causing death? And does God cause those who die of any other illness, who are the baptized believers of His church, any less mercy? In your second paragraph of this post, you sum up the essence of depression as a mental illness, as well as how I feel about it. So I know you understand my level of suffering, my darkness, hopelessness and unrest. That level of suffering can cause a person's mind to inflict their own death and does very often. Do you think God's mercy extends to my situation and that my mental illness is any different, regardless of natural cause or self infliction. The line between natural cause and self infliction seem to blur with this particular illness. I have thought this through for literally years. I would be interested in your thoughts on what I have just expressed on this brand of hopelessness.
Yes I agree sometimes the lines do blur. I tried to understand my depression, my anxiety, the incredible power these feelings can exert over ever aspect of my life. In coming to sit with depression, to fully embrace it, I am now working on just letting it be, not to understand something that I will never understand, not to analize, think about, overcome, fight, etc. but to just try to allow myself to be.
And yes absolutely God's mercy extends to all human suffering, for God is total acceptance.
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