Spirituality through Community

Living the spiritual life is obtained through living in community. Spirituality is often discovered in solitude through meditation, reading, thinking, etc. but it can only be fulfilled in community. We were designed to live in relationship with others. Spirituality as Kurtz and Ketcham (The Spirituality of Imperfection, 1992) describe “ is nurtured in community, the oneness with others that springs from shared vision and shared goal, shared memory and shared hope.”

It is through the sharing of stories, one to another that relationship is built. Often because of the work I do, I get the opportunity to share, be a participant in another person’s story. It is through these relational encounters that I get to share the heartache and pain evident in another’s experience. Participation in support groups, having coffee with a friend, joining an online group chat are just a few ways in which we connect in community through shared stories.


Often we reach out for advice and support. Often our own pain is evident in dialogue. Seeking the support of a community not only gives one a listening ear but also a forum for discovering solutions. This is the role community plays in the fulfillment of our spiritual purpose. Hopefully our encounters with others offer peace. This is the nature of spiritual community involvement.

No one can fully understand another person’s pain, only God. He hears us in the darkness of our anxiety, sits with us in our frustration and anger, and calls us to faith. This is what spirituality in solace does for us. It is through this silent reflection that we are able to reach beyond our own distress in faith to bring to community our deepest fears.

As a parents of a children with disability, it is through the development of safe relationships that we are able to gather the energy to keep doing what we must do for our children. As parents we carry this safety and faith to others that do not understand in an attempt to get for our children what they need. We move from our own community of support (in the special mom's support group) to the greater community in their unknowing.

There is no greater pain than that of a parent watching their child suffer and being powerless to help. So often we reach out in anger because we are consumed with pain. Stories often demonstrate a parent’s powerlessness. What parents need from community is to feel safety in sharing their stories with others without judgment, defensiveness, or apathy from those that have the power to offer solutions. No person likes to be dependent on others, being humble is difficult for most people. However, when you are vulnerable, as people with disability and their parents are, you have little choice. In my experience I had to reach beyond the four walls of my own home and ask and accept the help of others, often strangers. This can be the ultimate action of faith, to reach out despite fear, frustration, and anger in the hope of discovering community support. It has often yielded positive results and the fulfillment of spirituality.

Sometimes reaching out as an act of faith can yield less than favorable results, as the following story demonstrates. Being humble, asking for community support no matter what the outcome is the work of the spirit. For no matter what the response is there is one that holds all our answers. God is the only one who knows what is in the heart of everyone even the person or community that seems less than welcoming.


As a former educator, I learned about research based, result oriented approaches to intervention. “An emphasis on parent involvement has given way to a family-centered approach in which families have the power to direct the service that they and their children, receive.” (Partnerships with Families, Stoneman and Rugg) This is not always practiced in the systems approach to interventions. It is often forgotten that first: families care deeply about their children. Second: families want to do what they need to do to help their children and be cooperative but often are consumed with grief and distress over some condition relating to their child’s disability. And third and most importantly: we are dealing with human beings, subject to all the complexities that entails. Remembering this, whether there is agreement or not (healthy conflict as Parker Palmer describes) the best interest of all involved, a seeking to understand that which cannot be understood fully we participate in the spiritually of community.