NEW Lessons from Blind Running

Yesterday I took off on a 50 minute run around the neighborhood. It began as one of those runs you just know from the beginning is going to be difficult. It was a little too warm, the sun was strong, and it was windy, which made my lips feel dry and my mouth feel thirsty. This was part of my scheduled training and I knew I wouldn't be able to make this run up at any other time in the week so off I went.

I was coming to the last 15 minutes, almost home, with one last steady, uphill climb. The feeling of fatigue, dryness and warmth had increased and I was really ready to have this run behind me. To make matters worse I was having difficulty focusing my mind on staying spiritually connected. I decided to rely on my blind running meditation to hopefully get me to the end. I do this with the intention to focusing on the other senses, which are often neglected because of my dependence on visual stimulus.

I have been working on perfecting a method of running with my eyes closed by saying a ritual prayer. I will say 24 words of the prayer with my eyes closed then open my eyes and say the remaining 17 words. I have worked up to the 24 words. I have realized through this practice I can focus on the angle of the sun, the feel of the road as my foot strikes, and the sounds around me. I was reflecting on faith and thought the lesson was to close my eyes while God said, "Trust Me" implying he would not allow me to fall off the path while my eyes were closed. Unlike other times when I have done blind running, it was a real effort, which I perceived as a lack of faith. So I kept up the blind running practice willing my senses to take over, the fear of falling to disappear, all while wrestling with fatigue, thirst, and heat! There was a nudging that I thought was telling me blind running was not working! I viewed this as lack of faith and prayed more diligently for God to increase my faith. My eyes were closed, I was willing my mind to concentrate, I felt the sun on the right side of my face, I had gotten 18 words into my prayer when OOPS! Off the road I fell into the gravel on my hands and knees, the symbol of prayer (interesting that I would land this way). It was so fast, and in that moment I realized I was being ridiculous. I started to laugh. You can't will faith by testing it, thinking what you are doing is Gods will. I realized I was not paying attention at all to what my intuition, my God voice was telling me. He wasn't trying to test my faith by asking me to continue to keep my eyes closed for the 24 words, God doesn't work that way. I had become so distracted by getting to the end of those 24 words that I really wasn't listening to God at all, but instead to my own stubborn ego. What God was really saying, (yelling actually) was: "OPEN YOUR EYES!" It was that simple, that easy, nothing complicated, or thought provoking, but simply open your eyes.

In that moment I realized it was not just about the praying (which I did with my eyes closed), it was about realizing in the prayer what God was telling me to do, the action that follows the prayer, and then taking that action. "OPEN YOUR EYES, take the next action, and I will be with you." This is what faith is about